Tinder Date!

That’s right; last time I was complaining about nothing happening, maybe if I complain sooner next time it’ll speed things up!

So on Tuesday, I went on a date. We hadn’t really talked much, as usual, and I wasn’t very excited, as I am having a long week this week. But I went. On the day itself, he suggested two options, and asked where I wanted to go. I knew neither, so had a quick google and picked the one that as closest to the train station. When I checked with my friend Anne, she immediately called me to say she was impressed, and it seemed like he was making an effort. Supposedly, it was a fancy place. Great. When a guy goes through a lot of effort, I get nervous that they don’t go out much. Twisted, I know.

Anyway, when I walked into the bar, I didn’t immediately see him. There were all couples, and there was only one guy sitting by himself, but that couldn’t be him. He didn’t look like his photos. Matter of fact, he was much hotter. Seriously. But then he looked up and recognized me, and I realized I was the lucky one! He had a bit of a hipster look, but not quite, and dressed well. We kissed hello, ordered wine and hit it off. He was pleasant to talk to, has an interesting job in theatre and is athletic. But the first half hour or so, I was nervous about being out of his league. His type isn’t usually into me. So every time the waitress came by to ask if we wanted more I expected him to cut her off and call it a night. But he didn’t.

So we talked, drank, he was impressed that I knew which Japanese movie he forgot the title of, and he made me laugh. Eventually, they threw us out as closing time was coming up, and I had to catch my last train home. He walked me back to the station, and we literally passed by his front door, to which he said ‘This is where I live, if you want to stalk me’. He dropped me off, and we said goodbye with a regular peck on the lips.

I have to say that he was the best date I’ve been on in a long time! Something has to be ‘wrong’, right? Well. During the course of the night, it became clear that he’s bisexual. I wasn’t very surprised as a few times I thought he seemed in touch with his feminine side, but at one point he mentioned that while his last relationship was with a woman, the one before that was with a man. And on Tinder, he looks for both males and females.

I thought about it on the way home and also the next morning. Bisexuality doesn’t bother me one bit (if he is in a relationship with one person at a time, that is) but I found it hard to say whether he had been into me or not. I hadn’t really picked up on any clues. So when he texted me the following morning, I was pleasantly surprised. We went back and forth a bit, and eventually he said that I would have been welcome to stay over, but it had seemed like I’d wanted to go home.

That new strategy of not sleeping with men on a first date backfired quickly. I told him that that was not the case; but that it hadn’t really come up and so I didn’t know if it was an option. But next time soon? Next time soon indeed. Sunday, actually! And I’m excited about it, too!

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Cockblockers

Last weekend, I went out with a bunch of guys from the rugby team in town here. One of them is an old colleague of mine, and told me to come along. Me and a rugby team? Hell yes!

Even better, I was the only female there. So there was me, and 7 huge, muscular, incredibly handsome men from South Africa, New Zealand and Australia, to mention a few. Did I think I would be having sex? Hell yes! Lots of it. I had been looking forward to this night for a week, needless to say. I came all prepared, dressed, and groomed.

Did I hold my own? Totally. I used my secret rum weapon and was completely able to keep up with the boys. But here’s the thing I never realized; absolutely no one is going to talk to you when you’re surrounded by a group of bodyguards all the time. They were all lovely, I never paid for a single drink, they offered to get out of the way if I wanted to hook up, but then came bouncing right back when I was left alone for a few minutes. Why didn’t I go get laid? I shouldn’t have any problems in that area. Err, no. Not usually. Yet none of these men considered the thought I’d be up for a shag with either one of them. Why not? I asked the next day. ‘Cause you’re one of the guys!’. Awesome.

But on Friday, I have my first date through my paid website. He’s an American engineer that recently moved here. We were supposed to go for drinks tomorrow, until I found out I had to go to Germany for work. He kindly re-adjusted his schedule for me. Good sign! We exchanged phone numbers, and he sent me a regular text. Stalker that I am, I checked to see if he had Whatsapp. And when he did, I checked his profile picture…. and saw a 40 year old grey man, that looks nothing like his 29 self from the site. Fair enough, he hadn’t been online since May 2013, so I am hoping he got a recycled phone number and is still trying to work out the Dutch. Asking would be a little awkward, so I am prepared to run on Friday!

The day before

I turn 30 I am carrying so much irritation. So, in an attempt to vent it out, here goes!

I’ve been talking to this guy from OKC, he seems alright, though he’s not my type at all. Sometimes you gotta try something else though. Especially after I told him I am not traveling to his city (whatever happened to a guy coming your way on a first date) because I am tired of traveling for bad dates, and he was a good sport about it. And then I made the mistake of giving him my number. He has been texting me 15 times a day, and today called me when I did not respond. 1; more than 2 texts a day is a turn off for me. 2; I do not do phonecalls. After me not answering, he sent me another message asking when is a good time to call me. By now I am completely turned off and contemplating blocking him. I do not want to have to explain why I don’t want to talk to the phone and get into that conversation. I’ve already lost interest and don’t want to talk about ‘what my other hobbies are.’ Lesson learned. No number giving. Would I be a total bitch if I blocked him off and online?

Then someone (I can’t call him boyfriend) that I took a long time getting over got back in touch with me. He had disappeared into thin air, and 18 months later, here he is. Me being in a happy place didn’t care so much for his comeback. I wasn’t gonna get sucked back in time. There was too much of a cultural difference (He’s in India, an awful story I’ll have to tell you later) and we couldn’t even start looking at options. So we casually exchange messages every now and then about random things. Then one day he calls. Those phonecalls are super expensive, especially for him, so he keeps it short and before hanging up, apologizes heartfelt for disappearing and how he’s hurt me. To my surprise,  (while I accept the apology) I also realize I didn’t need it. Yay. But then somehow he must think he’s in the clear again. Every time we message, he wants to manoeuvre the conversation back to where we left off 2 years again. I didn’t respond to it for a while, and let it go, but then became increasingly irritated. The reason he would call or text at 4am his time is no other than any other guy would; a bootycall. Then last night the same conversation happened and he tried to call me to talk about it. I didn’t answer, he got mad and I ended straight up telling him I’m no slut that is readily available for what he is missing out on back there. Ugh. There is so much more to this story, but it just added to the list of boiling frustrations yesterday!

Lastly, my family is irritating the crap out of me. Here, it is quite common that if someone is turning 30, something is organised for them as it’s quite a big deal. Since I have no partner it would be on my family. I have a brother, sister in law and a sister, and neither of them, nor my parents are feeling compelled. Instead, I am receiving 8 messages between them of when they should be coming over. They know I never celebrate my birthday, and the least I want to do for this one is sit in a circle and drink tea, which is what will happen. Can they not just be a little spontaneous? More over; I am always there for their birthdays, but once again, my brother has cancelled. Third year in a row.

I probably sound petty and am overreacting, but I feel like it’s just adding up. And I a finish typing up, this guy just called me again. Argh!