I’m so fucking pissed

I’m angry. Bear with me.

Since the Stud’s holiday has started, I texted him to set up a date. The one where we’re supposed to have ‘the talk’. It turns out, he will be with the other chick on the other side of the country until Monday or Tuesday, has sports commitments on Thursday, and will then go see his family on Friday through the weekend. And me? I am so lucky. He can squeeze me in on Wednesday night after eight. I’m so fucking pissed.

I told him that if he needed to squeeze me in, I would prefer to postpone. No, it wasn’t squeezing. I have him a curt ‘fine. We’ll meet Wednesday. Hope you have fun.’ He said he would and gave me a bird emoticon. What the hell. I said I didn’t doubt that, and left it at that. He knows I know what he’s gonna do. I guess this chick doesn’t feel like a number anymore all of a sudden. (Her reason for denying him previously). Yet he spends a good three of four days with her, and I get a whole fucking three hours on a Wednesday night. Do not dare throwing me a fucking bone. I’m so fucking pissed.

I will be sitting on my hands for the next few days, and will save it up for Wednesday. He’s getting the full load. Do not give me the ‘people change’ crap and then bang another chick that has only just told you she doesn’t like your moral. Don’t do me any fucking favors by squeezing me in on a fucking Wednesday night. He better have a real good story on Wednesday, but right now I feel like just texting him that I’m done.

I AM PISSED THE FUCK OFF

He brought his dog

Last Friday I went on a date with the Tinder guy with a houseboat. He came to my town, which is always a plus. When I was waiting for him, I saw a guy come out of the parking garage, but doubting if it was him. Who would bring a dog to a date? Well, he did. He came straight off a boat he had a job on, working boots, torn shirt, and paint all over himself, his beard and his clothes. Eh… ok. I’m not judging. We went to my local bar, and sat outside. It was a little awkward at first. He was very relaxed, of the kind that doesn’t need conversation to have a good time. I kinda do. We talked a bit, silence. Talked a bit, silence. And I decided to not try so hard. He was on this date also. He didn’t ask a lot of questions, but told me bits and pieces about himself. I like the whole hippie thing, but he was on the other end of my universe. He lives on whatever boat he works on at the moment, does not own anything except for his car and dog, plans on sailing the world one day, gets bored if he makes too much money, so whatever he earns goes into his own boat. He squats in an abandoned school to have an address, has been married and ran a coffee joint in a windmill he owned with his ex-wife. I mean, wow. He seriously doesn’t give a fuck about anything. We called it a night after three drinks, I took him back to his car, got a big hug, and off he went. The next day, he messaged me on Tinder (while he has my number) asking if I had seen him to anything with his phone, because he lost it. I hope he’s not insinuating I took it.

Just a couple nights before that I went to dinner with a friend of mine. After several rounds of sushi, she was up to date about the situation with the Stud, and we decided to go for drinks. We went to this totally laid back bar by the water, where you sit in the grass or share your pick nick table with strangers, and get your own drinks. While my friend got the first round, two guys asked if they could join us. Absolutely. We ended up talking to them the whole night. My friend, who is engaged and has a child, hit it off with the guy with a girlfriend and a huge want for kids, so I was left talking to the most attractive, single one. By the time we looked at our watches, my friend freaked out as she’d missed the last bus and had no idea how to get to her car she’d parked way out of town. The guys very nicely offered to give us a ride. So her new friend went to drop her off at her car, and the other gave me a ride on the back of his bike to the train station. When he asked for my full name to look for me on Facebook, I figured it was save enough to ask for his number. By the time I was on the train, he had already found me, and so I sent him a message in return. Turns out he’s coming to my town on Friday, and asked if I wanted to do it again. Sure thing. Date it is!

And then there is the Stud of course. We have been in touch only a little, he’s been super busy working on the weekends. When he did text he asked again when we should go for drinks because he still had some explaining to do. I told him we’d do it when he was on holidays and relaxed. His holiday starts tomorrow, so should be soon! My friends seem to think this could turn out to be the good news conversation, but I still have a hard time believing this, and I really don’t want to put too much thought into it so save myself a lot of disappointment.

Date Week

Supposed date week, I should probably say. I was supposed to have three dates this week, Tuesday, Wednesday and today. So off we go.

Tuesday I met with a Tinder guy I had literally only spoken to for ten minutes before we decided to go for a drink. Off I went to the city, where he’d picked a nice bar. I got there first, but he didn’t see me when he arrived and took another table. I went over, we said hello and ordered drinks. In his pictures he was cute cute, and he wasn’t ugly in real life, but I think he just takes good photos. Also, I pretty quickly realized he probably wasn’t so into me. He was a little standoffish, kept looking away, and there was minor struggle to find stuff to talk about. Definite lesson for me to talk to people a bit longer than six messages before meeting them. Going into a date not even knowing if you’re even going to have anything in common didn’t quite work. I had decided to call it a night after the first drink, but when he found out we were into the same music, he asked if I wanted to go to a bar close-by that had a live performance of a folk band. I was surprised, but agreed. Off we went on his bike, and got to an awesome little living room bar where the most amazing band I have heard in a long time played. It was fantastic. Also, we didn’t really have to talk except for during breaks, which was manageable. I think he just didn’t want to go alone and I happened to conveniently be there. Either way, I had a great night, even if it wasn’t for him but the place we went to. We haven’t been in touch since, and I am perfectly fine with that.

Yesterday, I was supposed to meet a guy that I was curious about, he’s good-looking (in his photos) and stuff to talk about. Yes, at least I talked to this one. But then, oh dilemma, football. World Cup has hit it off and the country always goes apeshit orange. Since we won five to one last week, expectations for yesterday’s game were high. He says he’s not really into football, but since we’d struggle to find any place that would not broadcast the match, we decided to postpone until next week. I had a fantastic evening out watching the game (because I am into it), and then finally watched my illegally downloaded season finale of Game of Thrones. Perfection.

Today, I had actually double booked. I had set this date with the first guy three weeks ago, and I had sort of assumed he would forget since we hadn’t talked after setting the date, so I felt secure enough to double book it. So then I was also supposed to meet camping man, whom I had great hippie talks with about hammocks, camping, and bonfires. I hadn’t heard from him either, but did receive a message in the afternoon asking if I minded rescheduling as today wasn’t so good after all. Fine. He said he’d be in touch this weekend.

So that sums up my ‘epic’ date week! Let’s see if the last two men actually get in touch to reschedule, although especially for the first one, I’ll send him a message if he doesn’t. He seems like someone I’ll want to meet!

After my fantastic weekend with the Stud, he has been texting every single day to this point. We haven’t really said anything about the whole thing since I don’t want to force anything. And since he’s not really a flirty type of person there’s little to be expected on his end. Though he did say I was biased when he was fishing for a compliment on his physique related to football players. Well, obviously. Anyway, enjoying it until it will last. I am going to Sweden for the weekend still and I’ll see how it goes when I come back and see how he feels.

 

Gut Feelings

After I ‘dropped’ the samples with the Stud 2 weeks ago, I never heard from him again. I knew he’d be out for a while, but I had been expecting some sort if message to let me know if he was enjoying them. Nothing. So I texted him a few days ago to ask, and we talked for a bit. I told him about the bad date I had been on the week prior, and he seemed a bit defensive about it. I had also told him I was feeling a bit restless lately, and he asked if I was in love, lovesick, or what else was going on? He then suggested to go for drinks so I didn’t have to be restless about that. Then last weekend he saw that I was online at midnight and asked if I was texting my date. No, I wasn’t. Did I hear from him again? Was I going out with him again? No and hell no. He then asked if I wanted to go for drinks on Saturday, and then insisted on coming to my town, which would be a first.

All in all, I am as usual happy to see him, but I have to be careful not to assume too much from his texts. I don’t think that he gives a crap about me dating. Still his mood feels different, and I worry that he wants to see me to ‘have a talk.’ Not the good kind of talk. And usually my  gut feeling is right about these kind of things, so I am a bit anxious. Still, I am going all out just in case. He has only ever seen me in jeans, so I’m planning on stepping it up, dresses, heels and all.

Also, I have three (!) dates lined up for next week. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. All Tinder dates. I’m going to be exhausted. Then I am leaving for a weekend in Stockholm on Friday, so I’ve got no idea when I’ll get time to sleep!

He ‘joined’ the band

I went on a Tinder date tonight. That’s right, it’s ten thirty and I’m back home. We’d had a fun conversation on Tinder over the past two days, and even though I didn’t think he would quite be my type (I do prefer men with hair) we decided to meet. He came to my town, we went into a bar, and even though I wasn’t immediately attracted to him, we hit it off alright. He was nice, very interested and asked a lot of questions. He was actually so full on I backed off. I hate it when they are full on, I get very uncomfortable.

At some point, a colleague of mine walks in with a friend. She’s cool, immediately notices it’s a date and we giggle over it while he’s in the bathroom. To my horror, when he comes out and sees us talking, he goes and introduces himself to them. Oh boy.

After a while there’s a small band that comes in and starts playing. There’s only about 10 people in the bar, and there’s quite a nice atmosphere. He shifts his attention to the band, asks for songs, makes small talk and requests a song. When they sing it for him, he decides it would be a good idea to step up on the stage, take a microphone and sing along. I’ll give it to him, he had a surprisingly good voice, but jesus. Do you have to do that? He finishes, steps down, finishes his beer talking to the singer, and I’m done. I call it a night pretty quickly, pay my half of the bill, and get out. Ugh.

Since he came to my town, I had decided I would take him home if I liked him, after all I still want to get laid. But it’s funny how the female brain works and how desire disappears when you’re not into someone.

Also, I saw the Stud last night. He was half an hour late, making me wait in the rain. Rain does not to nice things to my hair. But when I saw him my tiny bit of irritation disappeared. Rain does look good on him. He said hello with a kiss (yay) and we quickly went inside. I gave him his stuff, that he was very happy with and got me another kiss, and then asked if I wanted to go for a drink. I told him it really was fine if he wanted to have a quiet night to himself, but he wanted to go. Okay. So we went and had a few drinks. It was busy out as the next day (today) is a holiday, and seriously all women ogled him. I was virtually non existent. I just smiled. He was with me. We didn’t make it a late night as he still had work to do and needed to get up at six today for a weekend of sailing, but it was nice as always.

He gave me a sweater of his to wear back home as it had gotten cold outside, texted me to make sure I got home alright and said he had a good time. He always does. This man is so genuinely nice, I just can’t be upset for not getting what I want from him. Disappointed, sure. Do I think I would ever be the one to change his mind? No. I’ll just be happy being around him.

He wore flared curduroys

This post took a bit longer than planned as my hard drive crashed last week. Thank God some Geniuses were able to fix it and restore all my data at that! I wonder if they saw my bookmarked dating accounts…

Anyway, I went on an OKC date last Sunday. I think my statistics were up again and I was due for boredom. When he walked up I thought he was alright, but he was a case of ‘buthisface’. While I could get over flared corduroys (though, seriously?) I cannot get over jacked up hands. Yuck. He was nice to talk to, but not interesting. Add the previous, and it was an unsuccessful date. I have not heard back from him either, which probably means he’s thinking something along the same lines.

Then I am in touch with a Tinder guy that texts at nine thirty PM that he’s free tonight. Dude. I am easy sometimes but not when I don’t know who the fuck you are. When I told him I wasn’t that easy he told me he was joking and subsequently blocked me. How funny.

Also last week, I landed in a heated argument with the Musician. As I mentioned, we’d been texting and he’d been playing his usual ‘I might come over’ game. This time he took it as far as am I on the pill? So when I took him up on it a few days ago, I heard the expected excuses, but did not let him get away with it. I phoned him up and straight up told him that he’s an asshole, he has issues, doesn’t know what the hell he wants and is taking advantage of the situation. He was upset. In fact he doesn’t know what he wants, he is always on the lookout for something better to come along. I told him he doesn’t give a shit who he texts, he just texts me because I reply. He hasn’t got the slightest clue or interest in how I am. He denied, but apologized for a bunch of stuff in the end. He very kindly texted me for my birthday the next day, so I guess he isn’t the sort to hold grudges.

Pfew, anyway, I am seeing the Stud tomorrow. I managed to get him a sample of something he wanted  and need to drop it off. I am being way too nice by not only giving it to him, but also dropping it at his house while he is too busy to go for drinks. I know that he genuinely is, so don’t hold it against him. It kind of leaves him in debt I suppose, but I just want to do something nice for him, hopefully it’ll be good karma, because I want to get laid. I am seeing him at nine thirty, which is way late. I am not expecting to be out the door within fifteen minutes  with a ‘yo, thanks!’, but since we’ve established he’s allergic to commitment at the moment, I doubt he’ll be in for sex. Ugh. Why am I doing it? Nice, be nice…

He’s back.

The asshole Musician. I received a message from him a few days ago asking if he fucked up asking me for work stuff. Yes, he had. He apologized, we messaged back and forth for a bit while I wondered what he wanted. It did not take long. Things were not going well with his new chick. They had met up in London while he was on tour, and things had been awkward between them. They’ve been having a long distance relationship until now, meeting occasionally, but mostly relying on FaceTime and messaging. And then when they had actual time to spend, things went downhill. I can’t help feeling a little pleased. In your face. It wasn’t me.

Anyway, now that that’s going down, he apparently needs a back up. Enter Ella. Before I knew it I was sucked into a long thread that went further and further, eventually leading to him saying he’d be back in the country today and maybe we should finally turn mutual fantasies into reality. All of me is screaming YES, YES fuck me senseless! I am having so much trouble keeping a clear mind, while I know that it won’t ever happen because if we were to agree on meeting, he would cancel last minute. I would love him to be my birthday gift and think I could handle it too, but it’s all just such a bad idea. Though, I’m getting ahead of myself as usual.

I have been in touch with the Stud occasionally as well. I have not seen him after our last date, but he texted me last week to say I was not supposed to look better than the bride after he saw photo’s of my brothers wedding. Way to go on the sweet talking. I have decided to go easy with him. If he wants to see me, he’ll have to put in some effort.

Ending rant.