He called me a bitch. Sort of.

I went on (yet another) Tinderdate last week. He’d been nice to chat to, but a day before our date, confessed to me he was still living with his ex, and asked if that put me off. I told him that it depended on the situation, but for now, no. To be honest, normally that would definitely put me off, but I told myself that it would only be an issue if I ended up liking him. And, given my track record, that’s what probably would not happen.

He came, through the storm, and we went for a drink. Immediately when he walked into the bar, I knew. Nah. I wouldn’t be interested. He looked a bit older than his pictures, was bald (though I should have known since he wore hats in all of his pictures) and while he looked friendly in those pictures, I found him to be quite harsh. He had strong opinions about everything. His job. The people in it, people around him. He asked me loads of questions, I in return, did not ask him about his ex. He wasn’t interesting to me and I knew I wasn’t going to see him again, so there was no point in collecting that sort of information.

Somehow we got to talk about differences between men and women, how they fight, and then he asked me if I was one of ‘those unreasonable women’. I sure am. ‘So you’re kind of a bitch then?’ I think my eyebrows touched my hairline, and he knew he’d gone too far as he physically moved back a few inches. In all fairness, if it comes with a good joke I wouldn’t mind much, but he was dead serious. Not cool.

I ended it shortly after, using the getting up early for work excuse, and saw him off. And deleted him shortly after.

So, another unsuccessful date. I have to admit I’m getting a little tired of the dating. I like meeting new people, I don’t mind spending money on a drink here and there, but at the same time it is discouraging. At the moment, I’ve got nothing in the pipeline, and that’s ok. It’s a scary thing to admit, because I don’t want to be alone. I’ve been alone for thirty one years (give or take a few short lasted flings) and I don’t want to die alone. But all of my effort is not paying off.

It always makes me think of my (in my mind) almost fifty year old flute teacher when I was twelve. She was probably a lot younger. But, she was single, and lived alone. In my twelve year old mind, that was a horrible, sad, lonely thing. And to this day, I tell myself I don’t want to be like her. But I’m getting there, and that freaks me out.

20 thoughts on “He called me a bitch. Sort of.

  1. Don’t give up! There is someone out there for everyone 🙂 p.s sometimes it’s a good idea to Skype first so you get a better idea of the person.

    • I’ve never done that! I’m super awkward on Skype and phone and things. I’d rather just meet someone, it’s much easier to get the awkwardness out of the way face to face. Though I’ll admit that it would have saved me from some dreadful dates had I known 😉

      • that’s true. I’m a little camera shy myself to be honest but I would hate to go on a date to find out his pictures were deceiving lol. Luckily everyone I’ve met online have looked somewhat like their pictures.

  2. 1. Skype is awful. I dont even like yo skype my family.
    2. You’re way too young to be sad or afraid about being old and alone.
    3. You probably are a bitch. Every fucking woman I have ever met is a bitch. Get over it. In fact, own it. For as judgemental and harsh as he sounds, you do too.
    4. Tinder is better for sex.

  3. I’m starting to think online dating is part of the problem. Probably better luck to be had meeting people organically. And when you keep seeing the same users on dating sites month in/month out, year in/year out like I have… you start suspecting a lot of these folks are on there for a reason.

  4. Mine was my English teacher, in high school. Never married. No kids. She was like the etiquette teacher from Mona Lisa Smile, crying because it wasn’t supposed to be that way. I don’t care if it lacks woman power or whatever, I want to be married with children by then.

      • Just curious – is it hard for you to find guys that don’t want kids? This came up in my blog once: a girl told me that such guys are really hard to find, but as a guy I find that really hard to believe…

      • Interestingly enough a lot of men ask me on the first date; maybe that’s my age. (31). I have not encountered 1 man that straight up told me he wanted kids no matter what. Most, if not all, have told me that either they don’t want them; or they would go along with whatever the woman wants. If that means no kids they would be fine with it and vice versa.
        I have to say that part of me thinks that these guys will say what they think I want to hear. Another part thinks that some of these men are secretly relieved. I do believe that many men who are still on the dating market in their thirties worry that the woman they sit across from is in a hurry, looking for the father to her children, and I think that’s the main reason why nowadays the question comes up on first dates.

        So, to answer your question no, I don’t think it’s hard but then again; I haven’t exactly had a relationship that lasted long enough for this to be a topic.

  5. Don’t write yourself off just yet. You’ll bump into the right guy when you’re not expecting it. Online dating is such a ballache. Sometimes fun, sometimes shite. Being called a bitch on a date is a proper “check please!” moment! Jeez.

  6. Dating in general is ridiculously mind fucking. I used to think it was just online dating but out of all the dates I’ve had – the ones I’ve met organically have been worse than online actually! I’m 31 too and want someone but definitely not desperately. It’s tough in this world. A lot of people are liars I have discovered. It’s sad. If you want a fuck – just say it, if you want more – just say it. Really not that hard to be honest.

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