He’s back.

The asshole Musician. I received a message from him a few days ago asking if he fucked up asking me for work stuff. Yes, he had. He apologized, we messaged back and forth for a bit while I wondered what he wanted. It did not take long. Things were not going well with his new chick. They had met up in London while he was on tour, and things had been awkward between them. They’ve been having a long distance relationship until now, meeting occasionally, but mostly relying on FaceTime and messaging. And then when they had actual time to spend, things went downhill. I can’t help feeling a little pleased. In your face. It wasn’t me.

Anyway, now that that’s going down, he apparently needs a back up. Enter Ella. Before I knew it I was sucked into a long thread that went further and further, eventually leading to him saying he’d be back in the country today and maybe we should finally turn mutual fantasies into reality. All of me is screaming YES, YES fuck me senseless! I am having so much trouble keeping a clear mind, while I know that it won’t ever happen because if we were to agree on meeting, he would cancel last minute. I would love him to be my birthday gift and think I could handle it too, but it’s all just such a bad idea. Though, I’m getting ahead of myself as usual.

I have been in touch with the Stud occasionally as well. I have not seen him after our last date, but he texted me last week to say I was not supposed to look better than the bride after he saw photo’s of my brothers wedding. Way to go on the sweet talking. I have decided to go easy with him. If he wants to see me, he’ll have to put in some effort.

Ending rant.

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10 thoughts on “He’s back.

  1. No no no – don’t go there! You are surely worth more than being some jerk’s backup cos it’s gone pear-shaped with another girl? Even if good sex is sooooo so hard to resist – just another mindfuck waiting to happen… :o~

  2. Screw the Musician! The Stud sounds like fun though – I would take the “don’t look better than the bride” as a serious compliment!

  3. Oh my goodness, I love being someone’s backup. I know it doesn’t seem rational, but I find it flattering that when a guy breaks up with his girlfriend he’s immediately like, ‘yeah I’d love to have sex with the Shitshow again, she was amazing’. Flattering. I suppose if you want to be their girlfriend it’s harder to find that flattering, but separate the two!

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