He ‘joined’ the band

I went on a Tinder date tonight. That’s right, it’s ten thirty and I’m back home. We’d had a fun conversation on Tinder over the past two days, and even though I didn’t think he would quite be my type (I do prefer men with hair) we decided to meet. He came to my town, we went into a bar, and even though I wasn’t immediately attracted to him, we hit it off alright. He was nice, very interested and asked a lot of questions. He was actually so full on I backed off. I hate it when they are full on, I get very uncomfortable.

At some point, a colleague of mine walks in with a friend. She’s cool, immediately notices it’s a date and we giggle over it while he’s in the bathroom. To my horror, when he comes out and sees us talking, he goes and introduces himself to them. Oh boy.

After a while there’s a small band that comes in and starts playing. There’s only about 10 people in the bar, and there’s quite a nice atmosphere. He shifts his attention to the band, asks for songs, makes small talk and requests a song. When they sing it for him, he decides it would be a good idea to step up on the stage, take a microphone and sing along. I’ll give it to him, he had a surprisingly good voice, but jesus. Do you have to do that? He finishes, steps down, finishes his beer talking to the singer, and I’m done. I call it a night pretty quickly, pay my half of the bill, and get out. Ugh.

Since he came to my town, I had decided I would take him home if I liked him, after all I still want to get laid. But it’s funny how the female brain works and how desire disappears when you’re not into someone.

Also, I saw the Stud last night. He was half an hour late, making me wait in the rain. Rain does not to nice things to my hair. But when I saw him my tiny bit of irritation disappeared. Rain does look good on him. He said hello with a kiss (yay) and we quickly went inside. I gave him his stuff, that he was very happy with and got me another kiss, and then asked if I wanted to go for a drink. I told him it really was fine if he wanted to have a quiet night to himself, but he wanted to go. Okay. So we went and had a few drinks. It was busy out as the next day (today) is a holiday, and seriously all women ogled him. I was virtually non existent. I just smiled. He was with me. We didn’t make it a late night as he still had work to do and needed to get up at six today for a weekend of sailing, but it was nice as always.

He gave me a sweater of his to wear back home as it had gotten cold outside, texted me to make sure I got home alright and said he had a good time. He always does. This man is so genuinely nice, I just can’t be upset for not getting what I want from him. Disappointed, sure. Do I think I would ever be the one to change his mind? No. I’ll just be happy being around him.

He wore flared curduroys

This post took a bit longer than planned as my hard drive crashed last week. Thank God some Geniuses were able to fix it and restore all my data at that! I wonder if they saw my bookmarked dating accounts…

Anyway, I went on an OKC date last Sunday. I think my statistics were up again and I was due for boredom. When he walked up I thought he was alright, but he was a case of ‘buthisface’. While I could get over flared corduroys (though, seriously?) I cannot get over jacked up hands. Yuck. He was nice to talk to, but not interesting. Add the previous, and it was an unsuccessful date. I have not heard back from him either, which probably means he’s thinking something along the same lines.

Then I am in touch with a Tinder guy that texts at nine thirty PM that he’s free tonight. Dude. I am easy sometimes but not when I don’t know who the fuck you are. When I told him I wasn’t that easy he told me he was joking and subsequently blocked me. How funny.

Also last week, I landed in a heated argument with the Musician. As I mentioned, we’d been texting and he’d been playing his usual ‘I might come over’ game. This time he took it as far as am I on the pill? So when I took him up on it a few days ago, I heard the expected excuses, but did not let him get away with it. I phoned him up and straight up told him that he’s an asshole, he has issues, doesn’t know what the hell he wants and is taking advantage of the situation. He was upset. In fact he doesn’t know what he wants, he is always on the lookout for something better to come along. I told him he doesn’t give a shit who he texts, he just texts me because I reply. He hasn’t got the slightest clue or interest in how I am. He denied, but apologized for a bunch of stuff in the end. He very kindly texted me for my birthday the next day, so I guess he isn’t the sort to hold grudges.

Pfew, anyway, I am seeing the Stud tomorrow. I managed to get him a sample of something he wanted  and need to drop it off. I am being way too nice by not only giving it to him, but also dropping it at his house while he is too busy to go for drinks. I know that he genuinely is, so don’t hold it against him. It kind of leaves him in debt I suppose, but I just want to do something nice for him, hopefully it’ll be good karma, because I want to get laid. I am seeing him at nine thirty, which is way late. I am not expecting to be out the door within fifteen minutes  with a ‘yo, thanks!’, but since we’ve established he’s allergic to commitment at the moment, I doubt he’ll be in for sex. Ugh. Why am I doing it? Nice, be nice…

He’s back.

The asshole Musician. I received a message from him a few days ago asking if he fucked up asking me for work stuff. Yes, he had. He apologized, we messaged back and forth for a bit while I wondered what he wanted. It did not take long. Things were not going well with his new chick. They had met up in London while he was on tour, and things had been awkward between them. They’ve been having a long distance relationship until now, meeting occasionally, but mostly relying on FaceTime and messaging. And then when they had actual time to spend, things went downhill. I can’t help feeling a little pleased. In your face. It wasn’t me.

Anyway, now that that’s going down, he apparently needs a back up. Enter Ella. Before I knew it I was sucked into a long thread that went further and further, eventually leading to him saying he’d be back in the country today and maybe we should finally turn mutual fantasies into reality. All of me is screaming YES, YES fuck me senseless! I am having so much trouble keeping a clear mind, while I know that it won’t ever happen because if we were to agree on meeting, he would cancel last minute. I would love him to be my birthday gift and think I could handle it too, but it’s all just such a bad idea. Though, I’m getting ahead of myself as usual.

I have been in touch with the Stud occasionally as well. I have not seen him after our last date, but he texted me last week to say I was not supposed to look better than the bride after he saw photo’s of my brothers wedding. Way to go on the sweet talking. I have decided to go easy with him. If he wants to see me, he’ll have to put in some effort.

Ending rant.

Peacefulness

When I didn’t hear anything from the Stud for a while, I decided to call him last week. As I mentioned in my last post, since we’d been on four dates and all, I felt like I deserved at least some sort of explanation. So I called, half expecting him not to pick up. He did, and sounded happy to hear from me on top of that. We chatted for a while, and then he asked if I’d like to meet up now that I was back, maybe he could come my way this time? Hell yes. We agreed to call each other later that week as he had to go.

On Saturday, I received a message from him, we exchanged a few, until I asked him if he still wanted to meet up. He took a while to respond, and I knew what was coming. Yes, he would like to see me again, but I had to know he was no longer interested in casual sex, it wasn’t making him happy. Fair enough. I asked him what he did want, knowing that his disinterest in casual sex did not mean he wanted to be serious about me. He said he wanted to just meet and see how things went.

And so we met the next day. I was a little nervous it would be awkward, but it wasn’t. We went for a drink, then dinner, then more drinks, and it was every bit as nice as the previous four dates had been. Only this time I knew I wasn’t coming home with him, as much as I wanted to. I asked him how he felt about dating, and he said he had cut off all of his casual contact. Except for two. Me, and another girl he has been seeing since November. With her he’s actually recently had a ‘are we in a relationship?’ talk, and they decided no. He also said he sometimes still has a hard time with his failed marriage. He doesn’t like being alone, but realizes he needs to be, and it is not fair to string anyone along at this point, as he has too many things to figure out.

All very fair. I appreciated his honesty, and the fact he did this face to face. So where does it leave me? We continue to be in touch, and we will still see each other. Platonically for now, and if ever a spark happens, it happens, but it is not something he wants right now. And I am actually at peace with this situation. Realistically, a serious relationship with this man was probably not in the cards anyway and if it was, it would have been a messy one. He is very attractive, he’s great company and so if anything, I made a new friend. And who knows, one day.

Though I am not waiting around for it. I’ll continue dating, and we’ve kind of told each other to be honest. If feelings change for either one of us, it’s time to have a conversation.

So, do I have any dates lined up? None whatsoever. Ugh. Nothing interesting has come up on Tinder recently, and my dating websites have been eerily quiet. Maybe I should give dating a rest. Not that I want to, but sometimes it just makes me so tired to put myself out there time after time. When is it going to pay off?

Also, earlier today, I received a message from the Musician. He used my full name, asked my how I was, and then politely asked about my recent holiday. Uh… what do you want? He wants to know if I still work for my current employer. Yes, I do. Can I hook him up with a few things? I don’t think so. I have no intention of helping him out whatsoever. He ruined that a long time ago. He then inquires about my dating. I tell him I have met someone fantastic and am very happy. He doesn’t need to know. He tells me he is still happy with his Scandinavian chick. Well, good luck to you my friend. He ends with a ‘I’ll speak to you later. X’. Nah.

I felt a little weird after that, I did not need to hear from him, but after an hour, that feeling subsided. I seem to be in a comfortable space with the men in my life. And the ones that are not anymore.