Cockblockers

Last weekend, I went out with a bunch of guys from the rugby team in town here. One of them is an old colleague of mine, and told me to come along. Me and a rugby team? Hell yes!

Even better, I was the only female there. So there was me, and 7 huge, muscular, incredibly handsome men from South Africa, New Zealand and Australia, to mention a few. Did I think I would be having sex? Hell yes! Lots of it. I had been looking forward to this night for a week, needless to say. I came all prepared, dressed, and groomed.

Did I hold my own? Totally. I used my secret rum weapon and was completely able to keep up with the boys. But here’s the thing I never realized; absolutely no one is going to talk to you when you’re surrounded by a group of bodyguards all the time. They were all lovely, I never paid for a single drink, they offered to get out of the way if I wanted to hook up, but then came bouncing right back when I was left alone for a few minutes. Why didn’t I go get laid? I shouldn’t have any problems in that area. Err, no. Not usually. Yet none of these men considered the thought I’d be up for a shag with either one of them. Why not? I asked the next day. ‘Cause you’re one of the guys!’. Awesome.

But on Friday, I have my first date through my paid website. He’s an American engineer that recently moved here. We were supposed to go for drinks tomorrow, until I found out I had to go to Germany for work. He kindly re-adjusted his schedule for me. Good sign! We exchanged phone numbers, and he sent me a regular text. Stalker that I am, I checked to see if he had Whatsapp. And when he did, I checked his profile picture…. and saw a 40 year old grey man, that looks nothing like his 29 self from the site. Fair enough, he hadn’t been online since May 2013, so I am hoping he got a recycled phone number and is still trying to work out the Dutch. Asking would be a little awkward, so I am prepared to run on Friday!

The Great Big Nothing

I’m bored. No dates this year yet, no sex. And I want it! I’m talking to a few guys online, nobody worth meeting. But maybe I’m just sulking.

The Ginger told me he met someone he’s genuinely interested in- in Sweden. Good luck on that one. But; I am happy to report I’m actually happy for him and hope it works out. Who would have thought! When he asked me if I had any ongoing ‘projects’ and I told him no, he said he was surprised. I was hot and any man would want to jump me if he got a chance. Nice to hear, I guess.

I went for a drink my my friend Anna on Friday after work. She has just returned from a six month project in Asia and I am super happy she’s back. Nothing exciting happened to her there, but all of a sudden she confessed there was a colleague she’d had sex with. I knew that already, but then she proceeded to tell me that last week, they had gotten into a car, driven to the woods and had sex in his car. Hello! My proper, little prudish friend. I am still in shock.

She is also the one who keeps pushing me to talk to John, and I only told her the full story on Friday. Till then, she thought we had just made out a little. Now she’s pushing even harder. I am tempted, but oh the awkwardness!

Anyway, hopefully I’ll be able to report something more interesting soon!

Encounters & Dates

I did it. Call me a loser. I signed up for an actual dating site. Paid and all. One of the first messages was from a guy my sister used to date for a few months. (He never met me, so doesn’t know). I’ll let that one pass. Curious to see what it brings!

I never heard back from the OKCupid yoga guy I was supposed to have a second date with. Guess he was as enthusiastic about me as I was about him. Also, I told the Tinder survival guy I had enjoyed the evening with him, but didn’t feel any chemistry and so didn’t want to lead him on. He said it was a shame because he had wanted to ‘try’. Ok… moving a little fast.

I ran into John earlier this week at work. As usual I was spacing out while getting my lunch together in the restaurant (Really, I should pay more attention, whole batch of hot guys start at the beginning of the year) and he stopped me to chat. He had heard (how?!) that I took four weeks off to travel to India next month and seemed to want to tell me how cool that was. Then asked how my holiday break was. We chatted for a bit until he had to go. As I said before, he looked fit, and does not behave like a jackass. I am convinced that he likes me. And determined to make him admit it. Working on a strategy here!

Then, Louis¬†started emailing. He had heard (again, how?!) that things between me and the Ginger had not worked out. I guess I am now free range again. He sends me inappropriate emails and likes being very ‘naughty’ again. Needless to say, I am not into it. But as we will be working together on a project next month, things should be interesting. What both of these situations tell me is that either I give off pheromones and these guys can smell it, someone is a little too happy to overshare, or they have been curious and went fishing.

Speaking about the Ginger. After NY he texted me to say happy new year and asked how I spent the night. I was brief but polite with him, and cut it off quite quickly. I haven’t heard from him since, and I have to say that that’s working for me. All those dates are helping as well.

And so tomorrow, I have another Tinder date! He’s 35, no clue what he does and all, but we’ll find out tomorrow. He’s awfully good looking in his pictures, so something must be wrong with him. Keep you posted!

The Scorecard

Inspired by this; here is my overview of another year gone by.

I completed a yoga teacher training. It was fucking hard. I parted ways with a friend. I ran a half marathon. I went to a festival. I got drunk, made a fool out of myself and danced like there was no tomorrow. I took a plane 5 times. 3 of those were business trips. I switched jobs. I’ve kept my enemies close. I was a witness at my best friend’s wedding. I made out with the man of honor. I got sunburned at the beach, celebrated summer on boats and stayed up to see sunrises and sunsets. I fell in love. I got dumped. I missed out on my yearly visit to India. I made new friends. I had the big 3-0 this year. I got carded at a bar. I had a friend with benefits. Two of my best friends had babies. Two got married. I went on lots of dates. Some good, some bad. I ran into my first man with erectile issues. Didn’t stick around for that one. Had the worst sex to date. What’s worse; there’s two nominees on that list. Had some pretty good sex as well. I didn’t meet The One.

In short:

Number of weddings attended: one

Number of funerals attended: none

Number of babies born: two

Number of babies expected: one (I’m gonna be an aunt!)

Number of dates I went on: countless

Number of sex partners I had: six

For 2014 my resolution is to be fearless, and be fearless about love. No holding back, do what you say and mean what you say. I’d like to believe that there’s someone out there looking for me.