When the dust settles

As usual, I wonder if I overreacted. The pain of rejection has subsided and my two feet are back on the ground.

He sent me a friendly message to ask if I was alright. And I am, I really am. I have booked myself to be ridiculously busy during my 2 week holiday break, and now that I’ve got it off my chest, I feel a lot better.

And then I start thinking. Was I in love with the Ginger? No. Did I think I could ever be? Yes. Did I become emotional just because I was rejected, or because I didn’t realize how much I liked him? I can’t make up my mind. Would I be ok seeing him again knowing he doesn’t like me that way and might never? Probably. Am I telling myself these things because I am missing intimacy? Maybe.

All in all, did I make a mistake by reacting so quickly and should I have taken some time to think about how I actually felt about him before telling him I couldn’t see him again?

If I were to tell him that, how does that come across? (Don’t worry, I won’t just yet in this state) He’d probably think I’m saving my face, lying or desperate. Or confused.

To what extent did I fuck up?


7 thoughts on “When the dust settles

  1. Two cents from a person you don’t know: Right now, it feels like you fucked up but you didn’t at all. YOU may like him but remember YOU love YOU and loving you means you know what men you want/need in your romantic life.

  2. You didn’t fuck up. Why do we torture ourselves like this? He just wasn’t the right one. Being rejected sucks, we react strongly. Doesn’t mean we were in love. It massively doesn’t help if they were good in bed, cos you miss that. It was – just an experience. Sorry it didn’t get to be what you half thought it could’ve. I think girls daydream more than boys, generally. It gets us into heartache!

    • You’re so right, it’s exactly what my best friend said today as well. We have this tendency to over analyze something and make it to be something it’s not or has ever been. I am no different!

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