The Ginger

I went on an OKCupid date last night. I hadn’t been talking to him for too long, but knew that he is a professional musician, able to live off of his passion by touring with bands across the US and Europe. He’s now back in Europe and taking it easy for the next few months. We had quite few similar things in our profiles, and he had good photos.

And so last night we met up in a city  halfway for both of us as we live an hour and a half away from each other. We went for drinks and while getting there he mentions how he is disappointed that my hair is not as red as his (he’s a proper redhead), but that the rest of me is alright, and he liked my shoes. Ah fair enough, dry sense of humor = good. So we get to the bar, sit down, and talk for hours straight. We talk about all the things you’re not supposed to talk about on a first date, religion, politics, past relationships. He’s very clear about being uncompromising. He doesn’t do labels, doesn’t do ultimatums. You’re in it or not. He does what he does and he will chose work or music over other things. Walk into it with your eyes wide open and don’t complain afterwards. I like his honesty, I do well on clarity. He’s not shy about saying he is having a good time, likes what he sees, and me? I smile and appreciate the no-nonsense.

The first time we check our clocks to make sure no one misses a train home it’s close to midnight, which means we’d been talking for four hours straight. And he has missed his train.  He shrugs, kisses me and asks if he can go home with me. I say yes, and stress out about the state of my apartment. This was the least I was expecting for tonight, and in a way, I had been relieved that this would not be an option as we live far away. But well, it’s happening and I feel okay about it. So we hop on the train, and on my bike to my apartment and get home before 1.

Naturally things progress, and we end up having sex, which was perfectly good, and non awkward. Afterwards, we have a shower together and try to get some sleep as I had work in the morning. He’s a spooner, mentions that I have a banging body (yay) and we fall asleep.

In the morning, he still looks the same (you never really know, do you) and we just lay and talk for a bit. By the time I should actually have gotten up we engage in a little bit of morning sex, but neither of us come and we call it a day. Still it’s not awkward, which makes me a little uncomfortable, because usually by this time I can’t wait to get rid of them. We shower, I get ready for work and he lounges around for a bit. When we leave the house, he fixes my bike for me (the tire had gone flat from the night before) and we set off to the train station for him, work for me. I sit on the back and love getting a ride to work. Doesn’t happen often! When we get to the station we say goodbye with a quick kiss and he says he’ll be in touch.

I continue onwards to work where I only arrive 10 minutes late, and have to explain to the girls why I am late and if that has anything to do with last night. We laugh and they ask what I’ll do next. I will do what always do; wait. I wait to see if they change their mind, if they were just being polite and I wait until I am 100% sure they are actually into me before I invest time and emotions.

I don’t have to wait long; I get a message before lunch that he’s home and has had a good date. We text back and forth for a bit, and both say that we’re tired and would like to meet again. No dates are set, but I feel good about it. Until, later in the day, I remember one thing he had said last night. “If I really like someone, I have no immediate need for sex”…

Ouch.

Where do I sign?

The douchebags on this website… are quite funny.

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This jackass for instance. Sometimes I reply because I can’t believe they’re for real. This one replied with a lengthy post in Dutch about how he was looking for ‘willing little sluts’ to train. I find it hard to believe people like this have any kind of game, but hey. This one might be a little slutty sometimes, but no. Hell no.

“Maybe I’m just lonely”

I’m back from my travels to France and Scotland. Party wise, they were… disappointing.

I went to visit my French friend that I’ve met 3 years ago while traveling. I’ve been to visit her twice before, so when I go now there’s no need to go do stuff or go sightseeing anymore. This time, I went for her 30th birthday. Big deal! I flew over on a Friday night after work, took a train to her house and met her German friend, who’d come over as well. Turned out she was a super sweet lady, and a very spiritual one at that. She wore a turban, so go figure. Anyway, the party was on Saturday night, and as we had (well, me and my friend) had changed and put our makeup on, people started to trickle in. The interesting thing is that she doesn’t have a lot of female friends. French man after French man came in, all attractive, all either gay or taken. Still, we had a good time and everyone did their best at speaking English. We went from a bar to a club on a boat, and at that point there were 5 of us left. My Frenchie was all over her gay best friend whom she denies is gay, and me and her German friend had had about enough. We left her, and she spent the night at his place.

Turns out he might be not as gay as we thought. Frenchie came back home at 9 in the morning and got into bed with me for much overdue girltalk. She told me they’d fooled around for a bit, but she doesn’t remember if they’d had sex. She’s embarrassed about it, and while she’s staring at the ceiling she says “maybe I’m just lonely.”

Hello. I couldn’t stop thinking about that on the plane ride home, and I still am. Putting myself out there like I do a lot, looking for attention, am I lonely? Probably yes. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of friends and a busy social life, but when it comes to relationships and men, yes. And maybe I do these things because it’s the only kind of intimacy I can get. Everyone needs a hug sometimes, or feel skin on skin, and how else am I gonna get that? Is it working out for me? No.

Will I keep doing it? Yes.

Gimme French!

I feel like to could do an ‘Oh Tinder…’ post again! This stuff is hilarious! Also, John keeps popping up. I wonder if that’s because he would have swiped like, but I guess I’ll never know if I don’t!

Speaking of jackasses, my running team that I went to the States to 2 months ago is having a drinking session on Friday. Guess who cannot make it? I am seriously bummed out about. 1; because they won’t move it for me to be able to join. 2; because John will be there and I am not sure he’ll keep his mouth shut with a couple beers in him. And I won’t be there to defend myself or put him in his place if needed. My friend Sandy told me I should drop him a casual note asking him to not say anything, but I think that’d make it worse.

She’s a little out of it; because as I told her about Mr. Fiji and showed her a photo, she told me to bang him anyway because he’s so hot. Very unlike her!

But the reason I can’t be there is actually pretty good! I’m going to France to celebrate a friend’s birthday, and I happen to have a big thing for French men! Also, last 2 times I went down there I have not had to complain about attention; I guess they do like redheads down there. It is going to be one long party and drinking session and I am ready for French action!

Then on Monday I need to travel Scotland for work, so I’ll be checking out the Scottish men to see if they compare to the French. I’ll have to let you know…! (When will I sleep? Good question)

Oh Tinder…

You’d think I had enough of online dating. But I just have to try this new thing out. I guess it’s not so new anymore, but on this side of the world it kind of is. So I’ve downloaded Tinder, but seriously…

I will not ‘like’ you if you:

– Put up a profile picture of your child (seriously?)

– If there are any children in any pictures at all.

– If you’re getting cozy with a lady friend in the picture (and yes, this definitely comes after the kids rule)

– If after 4 pictures, I am still unable to tell which one of the beer drinking homies you are

– If your picture is obviously a studio photograph, like this one  (And yes. I am putting it up. It’s too good. And can for sure be found on awkwardportraits.com)

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– And lastly; if your name is John, we’ve had a bad drunken fuck and you’ve been a dick about it. The screenshot is tempting. And what’s worse; I am dying to find out if he swiped me to the right, but I’d only find out if I would do just that!

Seriously; does this work for anyone? I’ve had plenty mutual likes, sent a few messages and gotten a few, but most are MIA. One asked me straightaway if I’d be into a threesome with his girlfriend (no thanks) and the others were just… boring. Ha! seems like I am running out of options!