I went on an OKCupid date last night. I hadn’t been talking to him for too long, but knew that he is a professional musician, able to live off of his passion by touring with bands across the US and Europe. He’s now back in Europe and taking it easy for the next few months. We had quite few similar things in our profiles, and he had good photos.
And so last night we met up in a city halfway for both of us as we live an hour and a half away from each other. We went for drinks and while getting there he mentions how he is disappointed that my hair is not as red as his (he’s a proper redhead), but that the rest of me is alright, and he liked my shoes. Ah fair enough, dry sense of humor = good. So we get to the bar, sit down, and talk for hours straight. We talk about all the things you’re not supposed to talk about on a first date, religion, politics, past relationships. He’s very clear about being uncompromising. He doesn’t do labels, doesn’t do ultimatums. You’re in it or not. He does what he does and he will chose work or music over other things. Walk into it with your eyes wide open and don’t complain afterwards. I like his honesty, I do well on clarity. He’s not shy about saying he is having a good time, likes what he sees, and me? I smile and appreciate the no-nonsense.
The first time we check our clocks to make sure no one misses a train home it’s close to midnight, which means we’d been talking for four hours straight. And he has missed his train. He shrugs, kisses me and asks if he can go home with me. I say yes, and stress out about the state of my apartment. This was the least I was expecting for tonight, and in a way, I had been relieved that this would not be an option as we live far away. But well, it’s happening and I feel okay about it. So we hop on the train, and on my bike to my apartment and get home before 1.
Naturally things progress, and we end up having sex, which was perfectly good, and non awkward. Afterwards, we have a shower together and try to get some sleep as I had work in the morning. He’s a spooner, mentions that I have a banging body (yay) and we fall asleep.
In the morning, he still looks the same (you never really know, do you) and we just lay and talk for a bit. By the time I should actually have gotten up we engage in a little bit of morning sex, but neither of us come and we call it a day. Still it’s not awkward, which makes me a little uncomfortable, because usually by this time I can’t wait to get rid of them. We shower, I get ready for work and he lounges around for a bit. When we leave the house, he fixes my bike for me (the tire had gone flat from the night before) and we set off to the train station for him, work for me. I sit on the back and love getting a ride to work. Doesn’t happen often! When we get to the station we say goodbye with a quick kiss and he says he’ll be in touch.
I continue onwards to work where I only arrive 10 minutes late, and have to explain to the girls why I am late and if that has anything to do with last night. We laugh and they ask what I’ll do next. I will do what always do; wait. I wait to see if they change their mind, if they were just being polite and I wait until I am 100% sure they are actually into me before I invest time and emotions.
I don’t have to wait long; I get a message before lunch that he’s home and has had a good date. We text back and forth for a bit, and both say that we’re tired and would like to meet again. No dates are set, but I feel good about it. Until, later in the day, I remember one thing he had said last night. “If I really like someone, I have no immediate need for sex”…