He’s back.

Louis. The colleague that cheated on his girlfriend. With me. And that’s exactly as classy as it sounds. I hadn’t contacted him after I returned from the US 3 weeks ago, and since I hadn’t heard from him either, I figured that was the end of it. Wrong. I got a text from him on Monday saying that he was just back from holidays now. We texted for a little bit, he tested the waters, I wasn’t so into it as I had been. Yesterday I had a meeting in his building and I didn’t see him, but an hour later I received a text that read “you shouldn’t wear those jeans if you don’t want them to be taken off.” It made me smile, but I think I’ve cooled off from the whole thing, and I am kind of surprised he hasn’t. What the hell is wrong in that relationship?

Also, life is hard when you fuck up. JohnΒ is a dick after all. I ran into him a few times this week. He was alone, I was alone, and he completely ignored me passing by an a deserted hallway. Nice. So tomorrow, we are supposed to go on a group run, and I know he is going. Thursdays is my yoga class at work, but also I want to go running. Though the idea of facing him is holding me back. Just don’t feel like it. So what to do? In my language we have a saying that translates into something like ‘shine for your absence’; and I think I might just do that and go to yoga. At least I won’t make an ass out of myself in front of him and avoid any awkwardness.

Ugh. I just want someone to tell me it’ll all be ok. And I could do with a good hug.

Oh and also; I started talking to a professional rugby player from Fiji online who is just too good looking to be real. If his pictures are for real (and they look like it) he is way out of my league. But hey. So worth a shot!

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