A different perspective

I have returned from a week on a Spanish island! It has definitely given me some much needed time to think about stuff, but don’t worry, I won’t change my ways!

A full week of lots of yoga, good food, lounging around at the swimming pool and sightseeing was exactly what I needed. Did I come back completely relaxed? No. I don’t have it in me to stay pool side for a week!

The interesting thing was our group. A group of 12 strangers thrown together in a mountain villa could have gone all kinds of wrong, but actually I had a great time. Funny how you connect with random people, and how women and men think alike, no matter the nationality or culture. Among others, there was an American guy, PJ, and a French girl named Miriam. And Miriam was into PJ. Big time. 

She managed to be hilariously direct and unsubtle, and she was quite clear on her intentions without creating awkward situations. That’s an art. She came onto PJ super strong, being a little too intimate on the Thai massage or flat out asking him if he would have sex with her tonight. While he played along, he rejected her every single time. Watching all that made me think about my own ways and how men react to strong personalities. I probably wouldn’t ask anyone for a one night stand, but I know that sometimes I can be intense. 

Should I be gentler, more feminine, if you will, in my approach? Was PJ intimidated by a powerful woman, or put off by it? It wasn’t exactly the perfect surrounding for sex, but if he had really wanted to, he would have found a way. In my mind, men always want sex. The fact that PJ didn’t, made me see him in a whole different light, and I liked it. 

The two teacher leading the training were husband and wife, married not too long ago, and seeing the way they were with each other almost made me sad. I run after sex, craving male attention, I constantly seek validation and yet I have managed to find none of it. It’s made me bitter sometimes. After all, how come I never met anyone that was interested in more than sex? So I would settle for just that, what else am I supposed to do? These teachers showed all of us true love exists somewhere, no matter how many kids you have, divorced or the things you may have encountered in your past. But if we’re afraid to open our hearts and be vulnerable, how are we supposed to be able to receive?

Ah anyway, reflections. Maybe I’ll be able to find a nice balance. The day I got back I got a message from Sebastien. He had managed to remember I had gone on holiday somehow. I think I will put my newfound learnings into practice and blissfully ignore him! I have promised my friend Selma, who’s fully into the dating game as well but a little more careful, to go speed dating next week. That’s right, speed dating. Oh Lord have mercy. 

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3 thoughts on “A different perspective

  1. Sounds like a great trip! I have been working on changing that exact same thing about my dating approach. I have been reading this blog by this guy who talks about exactly this. http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/ It’s been really interesting. I too feel like I can be too strong and intense right at the start and have been taking advice from his blog to try a different tack. It seems to be working and has been going well overall if I can get the expectations and little insecure voice in the back of my head to stop nagging me! 🙂
    Well done on ignoring Sebastien! Even if it’s just for sex, we should make them work for it, and if he’s not willing then why bother?

    • Super interesting! I’m gonna go check him out a bit more 🙂 It was nice to see that there’s men that are not afraid to be vulnerable and put themselves out there. I never come across those, but maybe that’s because I’ve not been open to it!

      • Yeah, to qualify the guy is a self-proclaimed dating coach! So he is working hard to get business from people just like us! I have only read his blog and not bought into anything, but I think it’s interesting to read his posts and thoughts and the comments from other people. He has this function where you can ask a question and the related blogs will come up. That’s what I’ve been doing. Let me know what you think! 🙂

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