On being a jerk

After feeling apprehensive about Sebastien and his tendency to talk about sexual preferences through text messaging, I had not been in touch with him all week, and neither had he. Until today.

He sent me a message asking to talk on Skype, and as I wasn’t doing anything, I logged on. The conversation quickly shifted to sex and plans for the night. As neither of us had any, it’s decided that he comes over. Again he kind of wants me to do a list of things, and I’m feeling ballsy and call him out on it. I tell him he expects a whole lot from me when it’s supposed to be playful and fun for both us us, and that he’s making me feel uncomfortable by doing so. He goes back and forth a bit and says that that’s not what he’s going for, but that I shouldn’t be shy and let him know what I want from him. Missing the point buddy. I told him straight up that it’s not going to happen this way and if that’s all he wants, good luck finding someone else no strings attached. We all know how easy that is for men. He either gets nervous or genuinely gets it, and profusely apologizes. Fair enough, I’m all for second chances.

So half hour beforehand, I hop in the shower, do my thing, and look for something to wear that’s good enough but does not match all of his requirements. (He must learn). But before putting on my clothes, I check my phone. Gut feeling. I have one message that reads: ‘Can we do it tomorrow? I’m feeling lazy.’ Oh Hell No. If it were possible to have steam coming out of my ears… I send him a message saying that I am going to be lazy tomorrow so no, that will not work. Are you fucking kidding me? He then comes on Skype to say he is not in the mood. I tell him I am not in the mood tomorrow, and that maybe we should forget about the whole thing because he always seems to be lazy or tired. He disagrees, and I tell him that expecting a bunch of things from me and then canceling half hour before is seriously uncool. He agrees on that, and then that’s the end of our conversation.

There we go. He’s a jerk. Turning down casual sex because you’re ‘lazy’ is first of all the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard, and second of all, if you’re not into me after all, man the fuck up and say it. I’m still upset; excuse me while I go have a glass of wine!

16 thoughts on “On being a jerk

  1. You have every right to be upset! What a fucking dickbag! Don’t let him treat you like this. Block, delete and move on.

  2. It saddens me that men ALL OVER THE WORLD continue to prove their douche-baggery and wanker-ness. UGH. I hope you had more than just one glass of wine šŸ˜‰

    • I sure did! šŸ˜‰ It surprises me that men seem so similar when it comes to these things no matter culture or nationality. And the fact that women all over the world struggle with them!

  3. Ugh. Asshole. We’re all entitled to some personal time or to stop if something isn’t working or makes us uncomfortable, but making plans and then blowing them off? That’s simply disrespectful of your time. Saying “I just feel lazy” may be honest, but it’s also discourteous in saying he’s not willing to put forth the effort to please you. God, how ever would he have managed the three-way if he’s so lazy & tired all the time?!?

  4. At first when I read about Sebastian and his bold cheekiness on text – I figured that’s like any guy. He’s testing the waters. I unfortunately have tested waters through text as well (not my shining moment now that I realize it) but have done it in person as well.

    But to turn down a free lay for laziness! Hope you got rid of him.

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