Whatever happened to dinner dates?

I received a text from Sean while at work last week; did I want to come over and watch a film? The work dinner that I was supposed to go to that night had just cancelled, so I decided on yes. Maybe it was a sign, maybe I wanted to give him a chance to redeem himself after that first date, and I definitely wanted good sex this time around.

I told him I could be there at around 9pm, and quickly pedaled home after work to take a quick shower and change. I wasn’t exactly prepared for what that message implied. (I am no fool). I pedaled back to the train station, took a train to his city along with curious co-workers that know I live in the same city I work in, so why take a train? and texted Sean I was almost there. He didn’t text back, but instead, I heard a whistle above my head. He was leaning out the window, and shouted to catch. Catch what? The keys. Ah. He put them in a hat and dropped it. I throw like a girl and can’t catch anything to save my life, so I let it drop to the street. And really, throwing your keys down? I know you live on the third floor, but make an effort and come open the door for me.

Once I made it upstairs, his door was open, he was dressed in sweats, had a beanie on and had changed the layout of his room. He gave me a kiss and offered to make tea, which I happily accepted. To be honest, I don’t even remember what movie he put on. It was some kind of guy movie I wasn’t remotely interested in, which he’d known if he had asked me. But it was fine, it didn’t take long for him to literally jump me, and I was excited to see how he’d handle himself sans alcohol.

I wasn’t expecting the world, but I was expecting for it to go better than last time. Well. It started off kinda hot, he was a little rough which I definitely enjoy, and this time it took me a little longer to realize nothing was happening. I was determined to not let that happen again, and so when he asked for a blowjob, I got down on my knees and sucked him off. I dare say I give excellent BJ’s, but I could tell something was holding him back. He would almost come, and then all of a sudden, it was gone. But when he was hard again, he turned me around on all fours, and before he could put himself inside me, he’d gone soft. And frustrated. He stated he couldn’t do it with condoms, and I said nothing. He’d left me hanging again. We had a shower together and got into bed.

He complained he needed music or TV noise to be able to sleep. I need silence, which he knew, but he kept going at it until I gave in. ‘Fine! Turn it on then.’ Jeez. Turns out I can sleep with the TV on after all, because after a little while he woke me up, whispered a sorry in my ear and put his hand down my panties. Would I finally get an orgasm? He was hard already and unceremoniously thrust himself inside me and started pounding. I put his hand on me, but he didn’t get the hint, or is not a good multitasker. So when he pounded me I helped myself out, and I did not make an extra effort to help him out when it was clear he wasn’t coming again. He seemed upset about it but trying to hide it, and I told him to not make such a big deal out of it. I am not sure if that’s the truth, but oh well.

My alarm went off early the next morning, and while I scurried around the room trying to get my stuff together, he didn’t bat an eyelid. He was definitely awake, but obviously chose to pretend to be sleeping. I stood there in doubt, that’d never happened to me before. Was he tired? Disappointed? Did he not give a fuck? Was he awkward? And so I left without saying a word. On the train home I texted my friend Adya. I was a little upset, but not sure if I should be, and needed a second opinion. And a third. At work, I called Anna for coffee.She was upset for me, thought it was an asshole thing to do, and she was not amused with the key-throwing either. So maybe I wasn’t overreacting. If it would have been an awkward one night stand it would be understandable, we’ve all been there before, but after a second date don’t be pulling a bad acting stunt on me and have the decency to open the door for me at least.

I whipped out my phone, and texted him that he needed to work on his pretend-sleeping skills.


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